Those of us who teach US history search for the perfect hook to grab students’ attention. We do everything short of backflips to divert them from their Instagram stories and impart some historical knowledge for approximately 50 minutes three times a week. Historians of the Trump Era will have no trouble hooking students with all manner of nonsense. History lectures about the Mueller investigation, and there will be many, have been blessed with the hilarious contributions of Roger “I don’t know nuthin’ about that” Stone.

Stone’s pre-dawn arrest by unpaid government workers who shouted, “FBI. Open the Door!” as they swarmed his residence has yielded a trove of absurdities. Turns out that Stone, conspiracy-theorist extraordinaire, takes his legal advice from The Godfather II. His excellent taste in films notwithstanding, the Corleone family should not be one’s go-to source for legal counsel. The Washington Post reveals the connections between Stone and the film in one of the seven indictments against him.

“Stone told Person 2 that Person 2 should do a ‘Frank Pentangeli’ before [the House Intelligence Committee] in order to avoid contradicting Stone’s testimony,” the indictment charges, adding: “Frank Pentangeli is a character in the film The Godfather: Part II, which both Stone and Person 2 had discussed, who testifies before a congressional committee and in that testimony claims not to know critical information that he does in fact know.”

In the film, the Pentangeli character publicly declares, “I don’t know nothin’ about that,” when asked at a congressional hearing about his career in the Mafia.

Did I mention that “Person 2 is New York comedian Randy Credico” whose therapy dog Bianca, Stone “threatened to steal” in an effort to shut him up? This lecture gets better and better.

If Stone’s fuggedaboutit approach to the legal system weren’t enough to entertain the easily bored survey student, the man has a tattoo of Richard Nixon on his back. Of Richard Nixon. Small group discussion: What does Stone’s choice to wear the face of a disgraced former-president on his body reveal about his character? His allegiance to truth? His connections to crooked, potentially impeachable offenses?

The lecture ends with a slide show of Stone attending various political events dressed as a Batman villain.

On behalf of all future HIST 1000 students, I thank Mr. Stone for his service to history.